Being positive
It can be hard to be remain positive, when we are all in our own version of groundhog day. I’ve found it tricky combining home-schooling, working and trying to keep the house in some semblance of order. Lots of people are sending me different videos and excerpts that are all designed to lift positivity but it can feel overwhelming to have all this come in to our inbox, whatsapp, instagram or twitter feeds. Often people will say to me, “You’re such a positive person,” and on the whole I am, but it isn’t possible to sustain this 100% of the time.
Everyone has their own way of managing lock down, for me it is crucial to exercise each day, whether that be to simply get out for a walk, do some yoga or head out to the common for a run.
These 5 tips below are designed to help you to think about how you can be happier, optimistic and positive during this time.
Understanding our negative thoughts
Dr. Martin Seligman, one of the pioneers of Positive Psychology, found that our inner self-talk has a huge role to play in how we feel and he describes this as our explanation style - either optimistic or pessimistic. Let me share an example that some of you may be currently facing. If you work in a sector where you are not able to work at the moment then depending on your explanation style you may respond to this in 3 specific ways; permanence, pervasiveness and personalisation.
a) Permanence - meaning that it will always be this way. Someone who has a negative explanation style, may say, “There will never be a job that I can do” whereas, an optimistic explanation style, “Eventually, things will get better”.
b) Pervasiveness - is this spread widely or only present here? A pessimist, will focus on the negative events that are happening and not be able to think about the Covid-19 virus ending, whereas an optimistic, will look at the positives that are taking place such as cleaner air, the climate and having an opportunity to do things that they may have not got round to do otherwise.
c) Personalisaton - pessimists will internalise and blame themselves for the event that has taken place, whereas optimists will look to external events / factors to rationalise their thoughts.
There is this poem below that was sent to me, that I thought was apt to share.
Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.
Poet anonymous
Stop reading the news!
Ok this is easier said than done, but I find that the news or the need to know what is going on can really bring us down. What I have been attempting to do (not always succeeding) is to read the news, once a day. Rolf Dobelli’s, book, Stop Reading the News: A Manifesto for a Happier, Calmer and Wiser Life, provides an interesting insight into the benefits it can bring - less distraction, reduced anxiety and more focus on the day to day activities that we may want to do.
Helping your neighbours
I don’t know about you but one of the positives that I’ve experienced is the fantastic community that is around us. Whether it be to check in and see what someone needs from the shops or having a chance to see each other, albeit from a distance each Thursday evening at 8 pm, I have personally found that being helpful to others has increased my positivity. With some of the work that I do people are sewing scrubs for doctor’s and finding ways to volunteer their services for their neighbourhood. This is something that I hope continues after the crisis - time will tell.
Getting closer to nature
Today for the first time we’ve seen birds in our garden that we don’t normally see and butterflies too. Getting closer to nature and appreciating your local surroundings can really boost your morale. Finnish researchers, Korpela, KM et al. (2010) highlighted the restorative benefits of spending time in outdoor areas that help to reduce stress and increase relaxation. If you can - go outside and take a stroll in an outdoor space that you enjoy.
Re-assessing what is important to you
This time has really made me re-assess and think about what is important to me - friends, family, pace of life and the work that I do. Being grateful and appreciating what we have - yes of course we can do this but we can also be positive and start to think about what we want more of, less of and start to think about how we can achieve this. If it is career related, then of course I can help but if it is connected to other aspects of your life and well being, then do let me know as I may be able to signpost you in the right direction.
